dear dairy
today i was late for work. i got into real trouble cos of it and linda was laughing but only for a while.

Turns out shes now not pregant any more after a big bust up in the shop today with derek from security. I knew it. dint i just know it. Shes sucha liar and i was nice 2 her as well making her tea and doing all her heavy work. Bitch.

And it got her into so much trouble that they forgot about me being late. they told her 2 leave her personal bisness at home and she went metnal.

Talking of linda, i shud be hearing about the poetry conpetition soon 2. I wonder what they think of my poem about linda the bitch.

Debz has been all pally with linda since the bust up and she has not really spoken 2 me muxh today. i hope i havent done something 2 upset her cos debz is the only firend ive got apart from the snugglebottoms.

so in all today has been horrid even after the linda insident. i dont know what i wud have done if i had been sacked. aunt millie wud have had a fit espeshially cos i wudnt have been able 2 pay any rent n she needs that omney 2 live on cos she says her pension isnt nearly enough for a person to survive.

she blames tony blair and his ugly wife for it all. She thinks his wife had the look of labour. HIs wife iss really ugly though isnt she. It looks like someone has touched her with the ugly stick. Brian from security has a saying about ugly people. He says tehy fell out of the ugly tree and hit every ugly branch on the way down. i think thats very funny. i shall have 2 start using that phrase for myself.

im going 2 have a bath now. i might come back later 2 write some more if i feel like it.

U'll never guess what. Linda announced today 2 the entire shop that she is pregnant by derek the security man. Brian from security said he was asking for it n debz was like all happy for her n stuff.

I just kept quiet. she is obviously very pleased with herself and why shouldnt she be. She has a boyfriend who must love her 2 get her pregnant. Its all so grown up. I'm not jelos cos i dont fancy derek or anything but it would be nide 2 have someone like me that mauhc.

Derek is a bit of a romeo is what debz says. SHe said he tried it on with her in the stock room last week but of course she said no. DEbz is far to smart 2 b caught out by a fly by night man like derek. DEbz says that it wasnt the first time he tried it on either but maybe now tyhat hes going 2 be a dad hes got 2 be different. SHe says that if he is up to any funny bisness she will be able to find out and will grass him up.

WEll now that linda has made her big announdment she thinks she doenst have 2 do any of the hard owrk. so she spends her time tifying the r ails n thnigs. She cant lift heavy boxes incase she loses the baby and she has to get a seat every hour so she gets the wrght of her feet. DEbz says linda will look really funny with fat anckels and that its only amatter of time before she is buying tena lady for those embarassing dribles pregnant peiopkle get.

Brian has been really chatty lately. he's been asking about all the internet people ive been meeing. hes an internet genios and he tells me how 2 act with them so i dont get stuck with any wierdos. i told him not 2 be so silly that they arent wirdos but he says ytou can never tell and that tehy are all newrotick fools. Debs reckons he might be jealos.

Aunty millie has been really secretive lately 2. aunt emms came to visit us and thetwo of them stayed in aunt millies room the whole time. There were lots of giggles and funny noises coming from the room. Old people are strange u can never tell what they r up 2. Aunt ems reminds me of sally from my holiday. They both have the same short grey hair, tho sally had to have hers all cut out cos of the treatment for her cancer. SHe was so brave to pull thro all that and get better at the end. Aunt ems has these really horrible sandals too. I'm srue they are very confortable but they are green and ugly with big thick soles on them and a T bar like the ones you used to have to wear at school.

Aunt mullie called aunty ems a dike whcih i thought was a really nasty horrible thing to say but the two of them just laughed about it. I just dont understnad old peoples sense of humoir anymore. I waqs really shocked at aunty millie using sucj languawge.

She seemed different with aunt ems here. like there is more life in her. they went to bingo last night and won #40. I said i woukld go with htem next time 2 see if i can win 2. Bingo sounds like fun.

Anyway i've said enouhg here today abour nothing much of importantce and i should be going to work soon. I'm on the back shift again.

lotsaluv to all my fans and readers (lol)
alice xxx

my holiday!!!
Dear diary

wow, its been so long since I have rwritten!! I have just got back from the best, most exiting holiday EVER!!! Iwas not depresed at all and I masde some lovely new friends although most of them r yunger than me!!

i didn't have much money so I asked the lady at the travel shop to send me somewhere really cheap but nice-sounding and i ended up sleeping on a GREAT big ship all week, out in the sea, in a harber near an pleasant place called the Isle Of Dogs.

it was almost like a cruise ship except we didn't go anywhere, well the lads all went out during the day and came back and ate diner in the big halls at night. Ther were some ladies and men there that didn't go out either, they were quite old like millie, but I had a few games of cards and a few bacradis with them sometimes. Every1 was really nice 2 me. i didn't realy get the card games but thay didn't seem 2 mind 2 much!!

On Tuesday, I got a taxi 2 the Isle Of Dogs with an old couple, jim and sally who I talked 2 a lot there, and we went to this really exotic restarant called Chilis, were the food was very posh and all the waiters were forren and gorgous!!! we had a walk around town and a drink after in a place called The African Queen, but we didnt see many dogs. I wonder y its called that?

the wether wasn't 2 good some days, but it got very hot Thursday and 2day, now I am going home!! typical alice luck!! But it was so nice, I will go back there again next year mayb 4 2 weeks!!!

Off 2 bed 2 dream about it all again now!!

Dear diarey!!!

I have been too busy for once 2 write, I have made 2 loveyl new friends, 1 at work, (luv ya debz!!! <3 ) n 1 on the net, so my website must b doing some good!! wish more people whouls sign the guest book...

I went to hyde park at dinner 2day just 2 hear the birds in the trees and be at 1 ith nature. All the boys were skating in the serp road, they r all so goodlooking!!! i rang up a wrong acount after luvn tho cos i had a couple of bacardis in the pork

I think millie has forgive me, life is not 2 bad . they r looking up for alice, yay!!!

I got some emails 2day from sum boys ona website debz said I should join, they seem realy nice, but theyre all a bit unpretty for me, Darren was very pretty for a boy. But there are other boys... maybe I will or have met some1 nice. my new internet friend is ver y nice, i hope he really like me 2

U never no

Nitey-nite
Lotsa luve
Alice and snugglebottoms

dear dairy.
oops its been a while since i last came n told u what happening.

Aunt millie is finally talking to me, tho it was nearly sunday before she sadi anything. Its still a bit cold but at least she knows it wasnt all my fault Arthr died.

Mr snugglebottom has been in teh bad books n she wanted him out of teh house but she saw a mouse on sunday n decided he could stay.

Shes warming 2 arthur2 tho she says shes going 2 change his name to something that wont remind her so much of poor arthur.

Shes been taking his death really badly. I hear her sob at night when she goes to bed and thinks i cant hear her. I feel so guilty. I wish i were dead sometimes.

She was talking to aunty ems on the phone. I think anty ems might be comeing 2 stay. I heard her say my name but i dont know what she was saying. i dont like 2 b nosey.

Work has been quiet. Lindas been off sick so everyone has been gettin on really well with eachother. A couple of the days me and debs had lunch at the same time so today i asked her if she wanted 2 come for lucnh with me and she said ok.

It was funny tho cos when it came time for lunch she had alraedy left. I dont remember saying we would meet at the lunchplace but i gess i must of.

Anyway I managed 2 find her n catch up on all the gossip with her. She seemed surprised at first like she had forggoten we were meeting. Anyway, She told me she signed my guestbok and I hadnt even looked 2 c. SHe also asked if I would do her a website which is really cool. Debs is 1 of the popular ones n maybe i'll make more friends by hanging out with her more.

Everyone is nicer when linda is gone. debs said that 2. Debs also thinks that brian fancies her. Debs says she can always tell when a guy is interested. debs is dead nice n reallt funny.

Debs says i should b more outgoing so i think i might try 2 b more like her n see if that helps.

Anyway i have a few emails 2 finish off before i go to bed.

nite nite
xx

Im so lonely
Aunty Millie hasnt spoken 2 me since she went 2 bed on monday night.

I was off work all day yesterday and didnt speak 2 another human being. I only spoke 2 a couple today at work, cos i was stuck in the stock room and it was soooo hot in there.

U wouldnt believe hiw lonely i am at the minute, I feel like there is no1 at all there for me. I dont know if Aunty millie will ever speak 2 me agian. What if thats the case will i never have anyone 2 talk 2?

i wonder what it is about me that people hate so much. why does everyone hate me? what have i done to make people avoind me like this. Id even be happy if linda spoke 2 me today. Thats how deserperate i am. EVerybody hates me. I hate me. I wish it were me who had been eaten and not ARthur.

If this is what my life has come 2 then i dont want to be a part of it anymore. I dont deserve 2 be spoken 2. I am only getting what i do deserve.

Dear Dairy
Aunty Millie came home today from aunty ems. I didnt tell her about Arthur straight away cos I thought I would let her settle down first so I made her tea when she arrived and looked after her for a while.

When she asked about Arthur, I just burst into tears. I didnt know what else to do. So I conffessed all. I told her everything about looking in the park, the tweeter, About the posters I'd put up in the streets, About the police putting out a missing budgie call incase they saw him but she wasnt very pleased with my efforts to find him.

I tried to explain that it couldnt have been mr snugglebottom who done it but she wasnt having any of it. She was so angry and so upset. I thought she was going to burst at one point her face went so red. It scared me and when i tried 2 get her 2 calm down incase she done herself an injury she went mental, screaming at me and throwing a cushion at me. It could have hurt me or taken an eye out or something.

So it didnt go sown 2 well when i brought out the new Arthur2 lookalike budgie to replace ARthur1. I had kept him a suprise all day and in the end I thought she was going 2 throw him at me 2 but instead she put him in his cage, shouted at me that i could have chocked him with the ribbon round his neck and went off to bed.

So this leaves me here like this now. I'm scared shell tell mr snugglebottom he has 2 leave home. I couldnt split him and mrs snugglebottom up and I cant live without my fuzzy pussies. I might have 2 leave my lovely home, what am I going 2 do?

My dad would never have let this happen 2 me. I wish he or mum were here. On top of all this i have the day off work 2moro and i had promised to stay in with aunty millie 2 get her acclimatised 2 the house again. After all it has been very hot lately. She hates me now. I know it.

As a little cheery side note, I spent most of today sunbathing. I got burned abit which is really cool cos I will eventually go brown i hope. My legs really need 2 see some sun and get a bit of colour.

But none of that is important anymore. Not when I am still in morning for poor ARthur1.

I just hope aunty millie can take arthur 2 into her heart and love him as if he were her own.

its a sad goodnight from me tonight. I have never been given in2 trouble by aunty millie before :(

Dear Dairy
OMG so much has been happening lately that i dont know where 2 begin. I suppoes i should start with the sad news.

Mr Snugglebottom seems 2 have killed and eaten Arthur, aunty millies budgie. I cant find him anywhere and aunty millie is due 2 come back from her sisters soon. What am I going to tell her. I cant believe that mr snugglebottom would do such a horrible horrible thing. Hes such a sweetie, hes not a killer. I have looked everywhere for arthur. I even went into town and bought one of those bird whistle things that tweets incase he would hear it and come back.

I went all around the park and everything with this tweeter but he obviously wasnt there.

I am so ashamed, I was drunk on aunty milies sherry at the time and I only left the door to his cage open for about 5 minutes. Surley it takes longer than that to eat a bugie.

I dont know how I am going 2 tell anty millie. Shes gonna freak out. I wouldnt be surprised if she puts me out of the house for this. Poor mr snugglebottom, he was only playing i'm sure of it. he wouldnt do it deliberetly. Mrs snugglebottom wouldnt still love him if he done that. I know she wouldnt and she still does.

I am officially in morning for poor arthur.

Well the good weather has improved my moods tho, even tho i am in morning. I think its all the vitamins you get from getting a suntan. I wish they would decide whether its good or bad for u. its like one minute they all go on about skin caner and the next its vitamins this and thaat. Well i am a really brite shade of red at the minute but i will go brown with it soon. Its really sore and the blisters havent burst yet but its worth it isnt it. I dont belive in this skin cancer stuff anyawy.

The good weather means that the shop has been really quiet. Of course I can still keep busy with all the work that needs doing but Linda got caught with Derek from securityin the changing rooms on wed. She has been given a warning for missconduct. I wish i had a camera, not to tkae pictres of what they were up to, i dont like that kind of thing, but her face when she got caught.

She was so red i thought she was goign 2 brust. Derek is such a minger 2. Afterwards she was boasting about her affair with derek like it was something to be proud of.

The girls in the shpo were not very happy with her doing that cos they say they dont knw what kids of diseses they spread when they were doing it. I dont know much about that kind of thing tho.

I got a letter back from the poetry competitioin. They said they have receved my poem and are judging it. That must mean that im in for a chance of winning or they wouldnt have sent me a letter.

I have wrote some more poems. i wrote one about poor arthur. I will put htem on my website soon.

aunty millie comes back from aunty ems on mon so i have to tidy up the house. I am really pleased with myself. I onle had 4 bacardi breesers 2nite so i stayed mostly sober. I should go to bed now tho cos i have 2 get up earlt in themorning.

Dear Dairy Its been really quiet. I had a couple of days off work cos I've been feeling really down. I dont know why I feel like poo so much but its horrid. I'm scared 2 post at that website i found the darksite cos they might not beleive me or just tell me to shut up.

Someone told Linda about my ewbsite but she doenst know the address. I hope I dont have 2 take the poem about her off it. I dont wnat her seeing it but i dont want 2 take it off either. SHe can hear it when i win the poetry competitoin

I put my picture on my website, I hope that isnt a mistake, I will probably end up with a stalker or something. THat would be 1 up on Linda and her sicotic ex. Im going 2 put more photos up when i work out how 2 scan them in. Brian done this 1 for me.

Talking of stalkers, mum will get another weekend out soon. I know aunty millie doesnt want her in the house but i will try 2 work on her 2 c if I can perswade her 2 let her stay a couple of nites.

Mr Snugglebottom has been really misbehabving these past few days. Hes been annoying arthur in his gage again and aunty millie is getting so forgetful. I'm worried that 1 day shes going 2 leave the cage open and arthur will fly out of the window. Then who would mr snugglbottom play wtih!

im going 2 go 2 bed cos i have 2 go back 2 work tomororow.
goodnite everybody.

Poetry Competition
Dear dairy

I decided after last weekends piss up not 2 go out 2nite with aunt millie. Instead I stayed in and finished off a poem 4 a poetyr competition writing about work.

I'll put it here but i also put it on my poems page which u should all checko ut. They r messages from my soul aunt millie says. I cant show her this 1 tho cos its got swearng in it.

Its Called - Linda the Bitch

She always tells me what to do
do this, do that
the stupid moo
Its not her job to tell me to.
Linda the bitch

Everyday I have to see
Linda in her pvc
or boobtube or her mini skirt
the stupid slag is such a flirt.
Linda the bitch

One day I'm gonna shut her up
ive already spat in her cup
bet her tea never tasted the same
as my thick gob since that day.
Linda the bitch

For now my story must come to an end
this girl will never be my friend
she'll barely even look trend -y
Linda the bitch.

The End

I didnt write down all the stuff she tells me 2 do cos i couldnt get it 2 rime properly but they didnt say it had 2 be pages long or anythign.

I think i might habve a vhance of winning the work catergory cos every1 else will have big long poems that dont rime or anything and thats just stoopid.

Work was crap today and i missed the start of Big Brother the evisction nite. Im glad that cow stef got booted out first. And Cameron won... hes such a sweety even with his silly accent.

i'm going off 2 bed now cos i start at 8 2moro morning. nite nite xx